This blog post is probably as much about perfectionism and the art of just doing as it is about actually writing a blog. I have wanted a blog for a very long time but I always put it off. I
liked the style of the terminal Hugo skin but then I felt it looked unoriginal and overused and upon looking at the docs it seemed overengineered for a blog, not to mention the question of how
to go about hosting it. For a while I ended up settling with Blogger but given that it's a Google service and it felt severely limiting I ended up stopping because blogging just wasn't that
great on it. After that I returned to my limbo, without success looking for something that'd satisfy my requirements for a blog platform simply because I was looking for something too perfect;
that's what led to me now writing this blog.
Perfectionism is an ever occurring ugly monster, it feels as if it's something that no matter what you do is set to make you drop it and the more it happens the more you notice it; I just
noticed it enough to make me write about it. Blogging, working out, learning music, writing and on topic for this blog - programming. I wanted to program since COVID after convincing my dad
for months for a PC. Upon getting it, I was so excited, I played a lot of Roblox at the time so I decided to try and make games, and I was trying. It wasn't any good but I was making my ideas
turn reality and learning basics of coding until... perfectionism. I stopped. I kept thinking that it was flawed in so many ways, even though it was supposed to but I didn't realize that and
just gave up until AI got good enough to vibe code.
I don't think vibe coding is any good but at the time it was a savior that was slowly destroying me over time. I could finally code what I wanted, all that without worrying about the trial and
error of learning how to code. It got poisonous fast, whenever I wanted to make something, even if it was simple I'd just turn to AI; after all why do it myself when someone could do it better
for me. This became even worse when I tried learning programming again, I have been using Linux for over a year and learned to love the terminal, I also saw Rust and loved the idea and how it
looked. Something so definitive I though was exactly what I needed. But then when I started I struggled, of course, but that worm kicked in again, and instead of taking my time to learn Rust
to make the stuff I want I just told AI to do it for me. I had the result but I didn't do anything for it. Remember when I said it was slowly destroying me? After a while of this it was
enough, I became burnt out from "coding" and just stopped.
I thought that was it until I started HS, technical lyceum. As part of the curriculum we have Algorithms and Programming and in said subject we are learning python and I think it's genuinely
insane how much difference it made for me in this mindset. Even if it was bad or beginner or I wanted to do more it didn't matter. I have to do it as part of the subject, so in a way against
my will I have been forced to learn the python basics. But this has resulted in something unexpected, it has pushed me past the initial block, I code now, as in I actually code. The boost of
motivation from that can't be described but you can see it in action right now, I am writing a blog post while learning the elements such as br, how hrefs work and general formatting. It is
very likely there are better ways to do and structure what I am doing, but as of right now I can open this file in my browser and see it rendered. I'm also learning Rust now, I need to open up
docs or looking something up seemingly every minute but it is actually very fun. I also started writing python code in my free time, you can see an example here
here which I wrote for a friend in my class to understand the current topic better.
I got very personal but pretty much all I am trying to show is some path out of the ouroboros of perfectionism, just making shit or trying to is cool, so if you're struggling with this same
mindset
PS: idk how to embed so you have to go the
gif link